More on shame

Wow- that article on guilt and shame really hits home for me. Not to get too personal on my own blog or anything, :) but I do experience shame from time to time- perhaps more often than I might like- and I think that article really nails it when it discusses some possible reactions to feelings of shame:

“
*Attacking or striking out at other people. In an attempt to feel better about their shame, people will oftentimes strike out at others in the hopes that they will be lifted up by bringing others down…

*Seeking power and perfection. Others attempt to overcome their shame by preventing the possibility of future shame. One way in which they do this is by aiming for perfection… Another manner in which people cope is by seeking power, which makes them feel more valuable.

*Diverting blame. By blaming our faults or problems on others, we can avoid guilt and shame…

*Being overly nice or self sacrificing. People sometimes compensate for feelings of shame or unworthiness by attempting to be exceptionally nice to others. By pleasing everyone else, we hope to prove our worth…

*Withdrawal. By withdrawing from the real world, we can essentially numb ourselves to the feelings of guilt and shame so that we are no longer upset by these sorts of things…
”

Yup- check, check, check, check and check. Been there, done that.

posted at 14:42 on Fri, 09 Sep, 2005 | path: /living

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